just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
