if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
