Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
