bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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