Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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