Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
