They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
