Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
He felt like a one man threesome
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
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