my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Randomize
