The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
