nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
She announced her abortion via fbk
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
