What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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