I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
where am i from again
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I just gargled with NyQuil
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
