Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
