you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
40s are totally the cure
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
