Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
