I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
