Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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