Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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