I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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