at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
