I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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