Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
