i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
