god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I still have a little drunk in my system
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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