i barfeds in our rink
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
