You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
