I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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