i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
