How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
