Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize