We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Randomize
