I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
