youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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