If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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