please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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