Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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