Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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