Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
