I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
