you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize