I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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