we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
it was like eating out sand paper
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
