Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
