she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
