I didn't shave. On purpose
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
it glows. i had to have it.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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