went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
So vagazzling was a success
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
