so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
