dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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