I look better un-naked...
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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