Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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