you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
