You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Omg I joined a choir last night...
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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