She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
