sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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