...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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