i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
