That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Randomize
