Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
