That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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