whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
