Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
