my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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