I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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