I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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