she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Randomize
