I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Randomize
