I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize