If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
