Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
