Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
