Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
