week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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