? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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