Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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