ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
